Online Tourist Queries
Q:Â Â Does it ever get windy in ? I have never seen itÂ rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A:Â Â Â Â Â We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q:Â Â Â Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q:Â Â Â Â Â I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.
Q:Â Â Â Â Â Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India ?Â Â ( Sweden )
A:Â Â Â Â Â So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q:Â Â Â Â Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, and Bangalore ? ( UK )
A:Â Â Â Â Â What did your last slave die of?
Q:Â Â Â Â Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ?Â ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle inÂ the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in .Â Come naked.
Q:Â Â Â Â Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q:Â Â Â Â Can I bring cutlery into India ? (Â UK )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q:Â Â Â Â Â Â Can you send me the France ) matches schedule? (
A:Â Â Â Â Â Â Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it.Â Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every TuesdayÂ night in Goa , straight after the hippo races.Â Come naked.
Q:Â Â Â Â Â Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A:Â Â Â Â Â You’re a British politician, right?
Q:Â Â Â Â Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A:Â Â Â Â Â No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q:Â Â Â Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.Â All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and makeÂ good pets.
Q:Â Â Â Â Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A:Â Â Â Â Â No, WE don’t stink.
Q:Â Â Â Â Â I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.Â Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ?Â ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q:Â Â Â Â Â Do you celebrate ? ( France )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Only at .
Q:Â Â Â Â Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
Q:Â Â Â Â Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( )
A:Â Â Â Â Â As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.
Q:Â Â Â Â Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )
A:Â Â Â Â Â No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)